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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23692579">Hidden behind the Dawn</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mintcoloredeye/pseuds/mintcoloredeye'>mintcoloredeye</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:42:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,298</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23692579</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mintcoloredeye/pseuds/mintcoloredeye</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kris has always been built with a tendency of being a mass of denials- always at an intersection between his duty and his true inclinations, he was always denied whatever he wants and was forced to adhere to societal norms, despite the rebelliousness he was always trying to convey. Him going to Korea was his act of rebellion, but he himself knew that he could get no further that act of rebellion. There were lines and boundaries. He knew that he was still bound to give his mom a healthy offspring and a daughter-in-law to take care of her, and he knew that his mom projected on him the life she wished she had and a family she wishes he had. </p><p>When Kris started developing feelings for Tao, he knew it was another subconscious act of rebellion to what his mom wished for him, just like how he loved music and chooses such an unstable career. His mom had wished him a stable profession like a doctor or a lawyer, where he would date and marry a simple girl who can cook, loves him deeply, understanding and is very sweet. Tao was the exact opposite of that.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Huang Zi Tao | Z.Tao/Wu Yi Fan | Kris</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hidden behind the Dawn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Their relationship has started since the EXO days, when they first debuted. Tao has had a crush on handsome Kris since pre-debut and their friendship had been tight. </p><p>The pressure from training and endless concerts and suffocating togetherness left them with no option but develop feelings toward each other. They were each other's safe haven when they're so far away from their families and friends, in a weird, foreign land where subconscious exclusion exist between the Chinese and Korean trainees. The source of attraction must originate somewhere from a survival instinct, in a place where Tao is still struggling to learn the language (let alone making new friends), Kris was there to provide a sense of familiarity and a sort of home to him. Unlike Luhan and Lay, who acts more brotherly and did not spoil Tao, Kris adheres to Tao's whims, treated him specially and is protective of him. </p><p>The closeness has led Tao to become emotionally dependent on Kris. He also knew that Kris also depended on him for closeness and despite the cold façade, Kris also misses the scent of home and relishes the weird masculine superiority that emerges from being Tao's protector.</p><p>It started when Kris called home and he simply got depressed after, and all Tao can do is sit beside him and hug him to sleep. Kris had a weird family situation, ever since his little, his mother has provided for him as a single mother and has vested everything on him. All her entire life is vested upon making him succeed, as a sort of weird revenge against the non-existent father. Tao thinks that's where Kris' self sufficiency originated, and he wanted to spoil Kris whenever he can. They were snuggling in bed when Kris kissed Tao in the forehead and Tao somehow understands why their love is doomed by the pained expression Kris has given him.</p><p>xxx</p><p>Kris has always been built with a tendency of being a mass of denials- always at an intersection between his duty and his true inclinations, he was always denied whatever he wants and was forced to adhere to societal norms, despite the rebelliousness he was always trying to convey. Him going to Korea was his act of rebellion, but he himself knew that he could get no further that act of rebellion. There were lines and boundaries. He knew that he was still bound to give his mom a healthy offspring and a daughter-in-law to take care of her, and he knew that his mom projected on him the life she wished she had and a family she wishes he had. </p><p>Kris loves his mom above everything else in the world and hated to disappoint her. She has a habit of becoming hysterical and Kris was afraid someday that she would break. Distancing himself from her helped, but it makes him felt more bad for her. He has nursed feelings of anger and hatred towards his mom for all her controlling ways, and the way she had projected what she wanted to him and obsessed over him. But he also felt love and pity for her, and he wanted nothing else but her to be happy, if at the cost of his own.</p><p>When Kris started developing feelings for Tao, he knew it was another subconscious act of rebellion to what his mom wished for him, just like how he loved music and chooses such an unstable career. His mom had wished him a stable profession like a doctor or a lawyer, where he would date and marry a simple girl who can cook, loves him deeply, understanding and is very sweet. The very image of an ideal Chinese wife.</p><p>Tao was the opposite of what his mother has wanted for Kris. Tao was a weird combination of spoiled and not spoiled, his childhood had also been hard as he was brought up by a strict father, but he also carried a strict petulancy that only came from the knowledge that he was well-loved. His mother and father adored him, despite being so strict to him. He knew that they would relent as long as he begs hard enough, but at the same time he was strong enough to not beg. </p><p>Tao, for all his immaturity and impulsiveness, was also not understanding of Kris and his situation. He loves Kris, but he didn't understand Kris. While Kris was saddled by the heavy responsibilities in life and bearing the burden of being the only one who can make his mother happy, Tao's mother had Tao's dad and they were heavily in love, so Tao does not have that extra obligation to make his parents happy. Proud, maybe, but not happy in the way Kris had to make his unhappy mother happy. Tao was not caring of Kris- not in the mature way his mother wanted him to be cared of, he was too self-centered for that and he was the one who needs to be cared of and lacks empathy. He was a sweet and kind boy, though and tried to love Kris and care for Kris in his own, naïve and awkward ways, which pulls on Kris' heartstrings deeply.</p><p>Kris has cared for Tao the way he hadn't for any other members or any other friends of his. Tao has managed to bring out his protective instincts and appealed to the protector inside of him. In a way, Tao is like his mother in the way they both need taking care off and are a hysterical mess and so emotionally vulnerable. The same way that they both think the world out of Kris and vested their everything on Kris. He was unable to say no to Tao the same way he had been unable to say no to his mother. There was a part of him who also longed to be loved and cared about but Kris had no luck with girls as well. He was always attracted to those women who only wanted him for his body, looks, or money.</p><p>His mother has called and told him to distance himself from Tao, when she found their ship pictures circulating in the web. The boy was in love with him, she had said, and the Chinese did not look kindly to those who had same-sex inclinations. It would hurt all his prospects. Kris' mother has always been a smart woman, but Kris knew what has been left unmentioned. She knew that Kris also had feelings for Tao, otherwise she would not have asked him to distance himself from him - despite everything, Kris' mother knows him the best, but mentioning it would lead them both to a fight, so she left it unmentioned, knowing that he would not dare to mention it to her and destroy all her wishes and hopes on him.</p><p>"You wouldn't let mom down, right?" She said, "All I wish is for you to meet a woman who loves you and can make you happy. Who can support your career, I don't want you to be like me, to fall in love with people who can only destroy you. There are two kinds of love, Kris. The ones that consumes you like whirlwinds of passion are the ones that will destroy you and forget all rhyme and reason. I did not want you to make the same mistake as me. You should find the love that nurtures like the river, and a woman who is kind and compassionate. The previous ones are karmic lessons, and not your soulmates."</p><p>Kris was led to a cross-road where he should choose between Tao and his mom. He couldn't bear to reject Tao in his face, and distancing himself from Tao only serves to hurt the two of them more. So he left.</p><p>xxx</p>
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